


But I Can't Do It Without You

by DirtyLilGreaseMonkey



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: M/M, Mentions of Suicide, mentions of trial
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 18:12:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6530731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey/pseuds/DirtyLilGreaseMonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron take Robert up on his offer of a drive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	But I Can't Do It Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative ending to todays Robron scene 11/04/16
> 
> I dont know what this is sorry, hope you like it.

As soon as the door opened Aaron knew without looking who it would be. His head rested on his hands, thumbs under his chin his; he looked up to the ceiling and took a deep breath, he couldn’t deal with Roberts’s bullshit right now.

“You alright?”

“Well I’m tryna get a bit of peace,” he huffed letting his hands fall so his arms came to rest on his knees, fingers laced together, thumbs tapping away.

Robert could see the nervous energy rolling off him in waves. He looked around the room letting out a deep breath before turning towards Aaron, his hands deep in his leather jacket pockets.

“Wanna go for a drive or something?”

Aaron brought his mug up to his lips and drained the last of his tea before he answered the disbelief at Roberts question clear on his face,

“Are ya serious?”

“Yeah,” Robert offered with a small shrug of his shoulder.

“With you?” Aaron scoffed; standing up he headed to the kitchen to deposit his now empty mug in the sink.

“That was the idea yeah, clear our heads ya know?”

“Alright,” Aaron agreed his back still to Robert.

_‘Really?’_ Robert wants to answer but he swallows it back he didn’t think he would be this agreeable after the other night.

“But you’re driving,” Aaron informed him as he leant back against the worktop eyeing him suspiciously wondering it was exactly that he wanted.

Robert pulled his hand out of his pocket his car keys dangling from him finger.

“Ya joking right? If ya think I’m going anywhere in that,” Aaron pointed to Roberts keys.

“Here,” he grabbed his own keys from the countertop and threw them in Roberts’s direction, the older man had to step to the side in order to catch them, Aaron nodded his mouth pulling down at corners trying to look disinterested as Robert caught them one handed.

“It’s a Porsche,” Robert complained.

“I don’t care what it is mate,” Aaron told him; Robert winced at the use of the word _**mate**_ ,

“It’s a heap of junk.”

Robert huffed knowing if he argued his point Aaron could easily change his mind so instead he spun around and headed towards the door he’d just entered, looking back he asked,

“Ya coming then?” before heading to find where Aaron had parked his golf.

Aaron shook his head perhaps this wasn’t a good idea, the last thing he needed was Robert bending his ear about Chrissie again but he also knew he couldn’t just sit around all day watching the clock waiting for it to be tomorrow, so with a deep sigh he grabbed his hoodie from the sofa and headed out after Robert. He was already sat behind the wheel when Aaron opened the passenger door and climbed in. Robert searched Aarons face for confirmation that this was still okay and seeing him nod he started the engine, slowly made his way out of the pub car park. As he reached the top of the village paused at the junction and turned to Aaron,

“Left or right?”

“Ya what?” Aaron frowned.

“Left or right?” Robert echoed.

“Left,” Aaron nodded towards the road that led out the village; he had a destination in mind.

Robert shifted the indicator lever down and spun the wheel following Aaron’s instruction. They drove in silence, Robert breaking it every now and again to ask the same question,

“Left or right?”

Aaron would mumble his answer and Robert would follow turning the car the way Aaron directed. After several junctions Robert had an inkling to where it was Aaron was directing him and as he came to a stop at the next junction, the one where if Aaron said right he knew exactly where they were heading he paused for longer than was necessary but he didn’t even have a change to ask the question before Aaron said,

“Right.”

“Aaron?” Robert questioned as his stomach dropping as it dawned on him where the next turn would take them.

“What?”

“That’s…erm…are…erm,” Robert stammered,

“Are you sure?”

“I’m fine Robert just drive okay,” Aaron grunted his eyes fixed straight ahead.

Robert narrowed his eyes at Aaron he hadn’t failed to notice the closer they got the more relaxed Aaron seemed to be. He gave a tight nod and turned the wheel. A few moments later the car crunched to a stop as Robert pressed the brakes, put the car into neutral and turned off the engine with a sigh. He hadn’t been back to this place since that night he thought he’d lost him; he could remember the cold and the fear washing over him as he looked out into the night not seeing what had been there just moments before.

“Do…,” Robert cleared his throat,

“Do you come here a lot?”

Aaron just shrugged, if he was honest he himself hadn’t been back since the night he’d stood at the quarries edge either but something Robert has said about clearing his head made him think of this place.

“No.”

“Good good,” Robert said under his breath.

He turned his whole body towards Aaron and said the one thing he should have said days ago,

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Aaron asked without looking at him.

“The other night, I want you to know I’m not hung up on her, on Chrissie, it was just a bit of a shock ya know, her and Andy and I’m sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.”

“Don’t worry bout it that’s what _friends_ are for I s’pose,” Aaron grimaced thinking back to how put out he felt when he’d arranged for them to go for a drink in town.

“Yeah _friends_ ,” Robert said softy his voice breaking on the last word.

They sat in silence for while Aaron staring out the window, Robert staring at Aaron.

“Stop it,” Aaron hissed.

“What?”

“Staring at me.”

“Sorry,” Robert mumbled averting his gaze but the creak of the door handle made him snap his head back around,

“Aaron where…”

“Clear me ed,” Aaron nodded towards the crevice.

“But…..” Robert started to worry.

“I’ll be fine.”

“Okay I’ll come with you,” Robert nodded to himself.

“No.”

“No?” Robert panicked an image of Aaron stood at the quarry’s edge flashing before his eyes.

“Just leave it ya?”

“Aaron.”

“Please Robert,” Aaron pleaded; he hadn’t realised how much he needed this until they had set off.

Robert swallowed down his fear of seeing Aaron on the edge of a quarry again and nodded, his hands shaking as he watched Aaron climb from the car. He never took his eyes off him as the younger man made his way slowly towards the vertical drop Robert knew lay ahead. He clenched his jaw as he saw Aaron lift his arm up and run a hand down over his face, a sure sign of just how upset his was. Just then Robert phone vibrated distracting him momentarily as he tried to silence it, when he looked back out of the window his whole world came to a halt for there was no sign of Aaron.

“No! No! NO! NO!” Roberts’s heart began to race as he scrambled out the door.

“AARON!” he cried his breathing ragged as he ran to where Aaron was last stood.

“Yeah?” Aaron called up from his position on the verge of the quarry his legs dangling down into to abyss.

“Oh my Aaron what…please….,” Robert balled his fists resisting the urge he had to pull Aaron away from the brink.

“I’m fine,” Aaron reassure him,

“It just helps ya know,” he added with a shrug.

“No I don’t know, come back.”

The terror in his voice made Aaron look up at him.

“Just a little please,” Robert begged as he crouched a few feet behind him his arm stretched out his eyes pleaded with him to take his hand.

“I can’t lose you,” Robert whispered sure the words were lost on the breeze that ruffled his blonde hair as Aaron sighed before taking his hand.

Relief washed over Robert before he gasped as Aarons movements sent a few loose rocks tumbling over the side.

“Don’t…..” Robert started as he bundled Aaron in towards his chest and away from the lip of the quarry but couldn’t quite get out what he wanted to say.

“I told you I’m fine,” Aaron struggled in Roberts’s arms.

“You’re not though are you?” Robert said softly and it wasn’t a question; his knuckles brushing away a stray tear as it escaped down the younger mans cheek.

Aaron closed his eyes to Roberts touch remembering how good it felt to have his hands on him but then imagine and feelings of other hands on his skin invading his mind and he forcefully pushed Robert away,

“I haven’t got space for anything else in me ed for anything but the trial.”

“And I know I get it,” Robert stepped back holding his hands up in way of apology.

“No ya don’t get it because ya not listening to me Robert.”

Robert pushed his hands through his hair and Aaron hand his hand once again down his face.

“I haven’t got space for you, for this, us.”

“I’m not asking that I’m not asking anything of you I just wanna help,” Robert proclaimed.

“Help? I don’t need help.”

“Then tell me what you do need?” Robert asked his voice full of sincerity.

“For this,” Aaron jabbed his finger hard against his temple,

“This to stop.”

Robert took a tentative step forward before carton spoke again.

“For you to not be there.”

“Aaron.”

“I mean it Robert it’s gonna be hard enough okay without…without….”

“Okay, okay,” Robert nodded; right now he’d give Aaron anything he wanted just to get him away from the edge and back in the relative safety of the car.

“I don’t want you to hear what…….,” Aaron gulped,

“I want to be able to look him in the eye but I can’t I’m not….,” Aaron turned and looked out across the gorge wishing he’d had the guts to end it all a long time ago.

He jumped slightly as Robert gently placed his hands on his shoulders spinning him around so he could look him in the eye.

“You are Aaron, I know you are.”

“Without Sandra it’s just my word against his,” Aaron cried his tears falling thick and fast as he tried to bat them away with the back of his sleeve.

“And you’ve got the truth on your side,” Robert tried to reassure him but it wasn’t helping.

“He’s a good liar,” Aaron sniffed.

“Better than me?” Robert joked hoping to lighten Aaron’s mood if only a little and was rewarded with a curl of Aarons lip before he grumbled,

“Almost.”

“Come here,” Robert held his arms open inviting Aaron in.

“Robert.”

“It’s just a hug Aaron, friends hug okay?”

Aarons teeth sank into his bottom lip as he nodded letting Roberts arms envelop him. he buried his head into the crook of Roberts neck and breathed in deeply inhaling Roberts scent, a smell his couldn’t put into words but a smell that always reminded him that he was safe, no matter what happened between them even if they did just stay friends wrapping him Roberts arms he would always be safe, be….home.

“Come back to the car….please.”

Aaron didn’t say anything just nodded as Robert somewhat reluctantly dropped his arms.

They sat back in the car for a while enjoying the comfortable silence each of them lost in their own thoughts until Robert interrupted Aarons.

“When was the last time you ate?” Robert asked knowing full well the state he was in he probably hadn’t eaten at all that day.

“Erm…”

“Right, café, my shout,” Robert clasped his hands together.

“Sure,” Aaron nodded in agreement; he probably should at least try to eat something.

With the key in the ignition Robert rested his hand on it and before he turned the engine back on he looked over at Aaron and said,

“You’re not on your own okay, and I’m not going anywhere so I’ll be here if or when you need me,” ending his statement by turning the key and bringing the car to life.

Aaron hoped Robert was telling to truth this time, but it wasn’t like he’d lied last time he’d promised the same thing, if fact the more Aaron thought about it the more he realised Robert had been his rock throughout this and as much as he didn’t want him to witness every single detail of what Gordon had made him endure all those years ago, he knew without Roberts support it would be that much harder to face him.

“You can come,” Aaron sighed.

“Are you sure?”

“No,” Aaron replied honestly before he added more for his own benefit than for Roberts,

“But I can’t do this without you.”

 

 


End file.
